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Check In 08/13/11 Random Thoughts (No Limitations)

Hey everyone hope you all are doing great. I am blogging to let you all know that I am still staying focused. Although today I feel like blah. I just don't know how to feel it is the TOM for me and so my emotions are all over the place. I am just thinking about everything and as usual I am stressing myself out. I need to relax because I know worrying and stressing will not make things better. I broke out with a few pimples on my face because of my TOM and I feel really bloated and I am not happy or in the best of moods. I am just thinking of how unsure I feel about  telling myself it is ok to go out and have fun. Since I have been on my weight loss journey I have been very low key from going out with my friends. The summer went by and I can't even count how many times I have declined going out with friends. I just feel like I want to wait until I get to about 180 or 170 lbs. I think I am afraid that I might then prolong some more and say no I will wait until I get to 150 lbs and so forth. Right now alot of my clothes do not fit because they are baggy on me. A part of me still feels attached to my old clothes but a part of me refuses to go out and buy alot of new clothing until I fit a 13/14 comfortably. From being a 2xl & a size 17/18 to now a size 14/16 xl  it really makes a difference and a part of me feels that I am never satisfied enough. I am not in a size 13/14 yet and I am sure I will soon but my thighs are not cooperating with me lol. I have a pair of size 13/14 jeans that I bought last week and I could not get it over my hips for anything. I am not giving up I promise. I just feel that my thoughts are consumed with all of these thoughts and it is overwhelming me right now then again my emotions are enhanced lol. I just need to relax but I do not know how. This week I have weighed myself everyday and I am still at 203 lbs so that is worrying me also so its a combination of everything. I am going to try not to weigh myself again until Monday. I would like to just focus and live my life and not stress about my weight. It feels like some sort disorder because I feel like I will always have to worry about my weight whether it is to maintain or loose weight. I guess that is life right? I need to realize this journey is not easy and it takes time and I need to learn how to be patient because eventually I will get there. Through the good days or bad days staying focused is key. I am also stressed about this guy I am getting to know. I like him but sometimes I feel like he is all talk and that gets to me. Although I tell him how I feel one day it seems as though he gets it then the next day he doesn't. I know I should not even be worrying about any guy because it is about me right now but I can not help it because a part of me wants to get to know him. I decided to buy myself a few things to make me happy so I ordered a pair of  sandals that I saw online and I fell in love with it instantly so I had to buy it. I promise once it arrives I will post pictures. I also bought this cute hello kitty bag that is so cute but I am too lazy to take a picture of it right now but I will this week. I also purchased a Nicki Minaj wig and I will post pictures this week also. I bought it because my edges need a break and I am tired of weaving my hair or paying to get it done so I ordered this wig to give my pockets and hands a break. So stay tuned reviews and pictures to come. I also went grocery shopping and I was so lazy to show you all what I got I am so sorry I wish I did because I bought some new things like a frozen fruit mix for smoothies. It has Mango's, Apple's, Strawberries, and some other stuff. I also bought Garlic and Onion String Beans and Klondike Sugar Free Ice Cream Bars. Lol I can not remember the other things I bought but I promise next time I will take pictures.Oh I also bought Vanilla Soy Milk instead of regular Fat Free Milk.Ughhhhhhhhh so many random thoughts. I am so sorry that I am all over the place. I am so sleepy and bored I think I am going to lay down and take a nap. I worked out today so I am happy I got it done and out the way. Have a great weekend everyone see you all on Monday for Weigh In. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh wish me luck I pray I am 200 lbs if not I will be so bummed but either way I will get there whether it is this weigh in or next.LOL even at 200 lbs I know that I am still going to be fat but listen I worked hard this summer to loose this weight and every pound counts.

If I misspelled some words I apologize I am too tired to care.

Comments

Dr. Reginia said…
Congrats on the weight loss. I know how it feels to be in between sizes. Bleh. My TOM makes me feel nutty as ever too. It gets worse with age (well for me it has). This is my first time on your blog. I like it.
TinaDiva said…
Thank you so much and yes I agree that it does make you feel nutty.
TikiLon said…
OK, I'm waiting to see the wig and the bag. I luvs the kitty! LOL
TinaDiva said…
Thanks lol and don't worry as soon as I get it I will post pics. I pray the wig is cute on me because it looked cute online lol.