Hey everyone hope you all are doing great. I am blogging to let you all know that I am still staying focused. Although today I feel like blah. I just don't know how to feel it is the TOM for me and so my emotions are all over the place. I am just thinking about everything and as usual I am stressing myself out. I need to relax because I know worrying and stressing will not make things better. I broke out with a few pimples on my face because of my TOM and I feel really bloated and I am not happy or in the best of moods. I am just thinking of how unsure I feel about telling myself it is ok to go out and have fun. Since I have been on my weight loss journey I have been very low key from going out with my friends. The summer went by and I can't even count how many times I have declined going out with friends. I just feel like I want to wait until I get to about 180 or 170 lbs. I think I am afraid that I might then prolong some more and say no I will wait until I get to 150 lbs and so forth. Right now alot of my clothes do not fit because they are baggy on me. A part of me still feels attached to my old clothes but a part of me refuses to go out and buy alot of new clothing until I fit a 13/14 comfortably. From being a 2xl & a size 17/18 to now a size 14/16 xl it really makes a difference and a part of me feels that I am never satisfied enough. I am not in a size 13/14 yet and I am sure I will soon but my thighs are not cooperating with me lol. I have a pair of size 13/14 jeans that I bought last week and I could not get it over my hips for anything. I am not giving up I promise. I just feel that my thoughts are consumed with all of these thoughts and it is overwhelming me right now then again my emotions are enhanced lol. I just need to relax but I do not know how. This week I have weighed myself everyday and I am still at 203 lbs so that is worrying me also so its a combination of everything. I am going to try not to weigh myself again until Monday. I would like to just focus and live my life and not stress about my weight. It feels like some sort disorder because I feel like I will always have to worry about my weight whether it is to maintain or loose weight. I guess that is life right? I need to realize this journey is not easy and it takes time and I need to learn how to be patient because eventually I will get there. Through the good days or bad days staying focused is key. I am also stressed about this guy I am getting to know. I like him but sometimes I feel like he is all talk and that gets to me. Although I tell him how I feel one day it seems as though he gets it then the next day he doesn't. I know I should not even be worrying about any guy because it is about me right now but I can not help it because a part of me wants to get to know him. I decided to buy myself a few things to make me happy so I ordered a pair of sandals that I saw online and I fell in love with it instantly so I had to buy it. I promise once it arrives I will post pictures. I also bought this cute hello kitty bag that is so cute but I am too lazy to take a picture of it right now but I will this week. I also purchased a Nicki Minaj wig and I will post pictures this week also. I bought it because my edges need a break and I am tired of weaving my hair or paying to get it done so I ordered this wig to give my pockets and hands a break. So stay tuned reviews and pictures to come. I also went grocery shopping and I was so lazy to show you all what I got I am so sorry I wish I did because I bought some new things like a frozen fruit mix for smoothies. It has Mango's, Apple's, Strawberries, and some other stuff. I also bought Garlic and Onion String Beans and Klondike Sugar Free Ice Cream Bars. Lol I can not remember the other things I bought but I promise next time I will take pictures.Oh I also bought Vanilla Soy Milk instead of regular Fat Free Milk.Ughhhhhhhhh so many random thoughts. I am so sorry that I am all over the place. I am so sleepy and bored I think I am going to lay down and take a nap. I worked out today so I am happy I got it done and out the way. Have a great weekend everyone see you all on Monday for Weigh In. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh wish me luck I pray I am 200 lbs if not I will be so bummed but either way I will get there whether it is this weigh in or next.LOL even at 200 lbs I know that I am still going to be fat but listen I worked hard this summer to loose this weight and every pound counts.
If I misspelled some words I apologize I am too tired to care.
If I misspelled some words I apologize I am too tired to care.
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