Weekly Wrap Up and New Goals For The New Week of 05/19/12

My Week/My Personal Insecurities

Hey my Luvs, this week was not the best for me at all. I had the worst  menstrual cramps and literally every day my cramps  has gotten worse. I literally overdosed on Midol and Tylenol the entire week not to mention I haven't had a lot of water because I felt so bloated (worst mistake ever).  I had work so I had to suck it up everyday this week and I really felt so miserable in the process. I feel a tab bit better today but other than that I feel sleepy, cranky and extra hungry right now. I am really nervous about weighing in tomorrow and I have been avoiding the scale all week because I have had quite a few cheat meals (I truly have been such a bad girl :/  ). With all of that it is crazy because alot of people have been complimenting me on my weight loss but I still feel fat especially because this week I consumed alot of Carbs and the feeling of being bloated will have anyone feel like a huge balloon which is why I hate  both combinations. I'll accept all compliments but inside I know that I still feel fat. I hate my gut and arms and I will be happy if I got serious and worked on getting rid of this excess fat and it would make me feel more confident in wearing certain things also. Not to mention I also have a love and hate relationship with my face. Some days I look in the mirror and feel that my face is fat other days I feel it is getting more defined. It is so crazy how one's perception can make or break your mood. I hate it and I wish I could continue to stay away from the mirror as much as I do because it is stressing me out. I still have to work on being and thinking positive but I am working hard on it and it is helping alot. I had such bad depression and anxiety at my heaviest weight and on a good note with the weight loss it has subdued alot, but at times I still get but it is nothing as extreme as before. The way I deal with moments of feeling down is by just going into shut down mode where I am deep in thought and quiet.I really want to just learn how to be more vocal with addressing it and moving on but sometimes you just react before thinking. I am a deep thinker and I'm always thinking and for the most part it is just about planning on focusing on bettering myself and how to motivate myself. I know that I came a long way and I am happy about that because I am not in that dark place that I was before. I practically went into hiding before starting my weight loss journey. I stayed to myself and remained as low key as possiblle. Now I am the the complete opposite but I am trying to become more social because I lost contact with alot of people because I was in such a negative place and didn't want to weigh anyone down with my sob stories lol. Now I feel that I am at a point where I am enjoying dressing up and wanting to be more social it is just about now finding people to hang out with and get to know. It is a work in progress but I am getting there and I have faith. I would love to meet new people to hang out with who have a positive frame of mind to life and enjoy shopping,health,fitness, no drama, going out etc. I plan to get myself out more and networking and enjoying life this summer so I am hopeful and excited

My Weekend

Yesterday I spent the night with a friend and we ended up going out playing pool and went drinking. I am not a drinker but I did have a drink and I really wanted to just get out of the house. I really had fun and this morning we went to the gym and we worked out for an hour also so that was great. I then went home and ate and went to sleep. I woke up with the worst headache and neck ache. Yes I know a mess right? anyway I noticed once you eat crappy you feel the same too and it is the worst feeling guilt wise aswell. It is all that I have been thinking about. Well anyway I am snapping out of it and starting off fresh tomorrow. Brand new day and a brand new outlook to things. I have to finish what I started. I need to have a cheat free clean diet and consistent work out plan no excuses. So I will be blogging as much as I can and taking it a day at a time.

Birthday Plans/New Goals

My birthday is in a few weeks (June 12) and I will be going to Atlantic City and I want to look sexy and take alot of pictures and I need to buckle down and see if I can drop an additional -10 lbs from now to then, so I am planning to go into a focused zone to make that happen. My arms are still jiggly but it is what it is lol. I plan to work with what I have and make the best out of it. I know that I can still find cute outfits to wear to deminish my problem areas and that is what I plan to do. Although I envisioned this birthday to be the birthday that I could wear a sexy strapless dress and show off  there is always my next birthday. However this year I plan to wear a short fitted dress with long sleeves or 3/4 sleeves. Anyway I am excited actually because Atlantic City should be fun from partying, shopping, drinking, eating, and everything entertaining. A mini getaway is just what I need so I can't wait.

xoxo TinaDiva


Christina said…
Tina I Wuv you! lol. It's crazy but a lot of what you said is a lot of what I was feeling last week. Except I wasn't on my period lol. That's so weird. I was feeling down too. So I know what you mean. That's crazy, I shared a week with you, without leaving. You're still doing great and I'm proud of you. It may not feel like it, but change is happening. It may be happening more subtly and maybe not so subtly, but it's still happening.

Sneak attack hug,

See I did that subtly, you probably blinked. ;@/ lol

Love you,

TinaDiva said…
@christina awww wuv you too :)your so right and you have to be greatful just for even putting the effort in working torwards changing your life for the good with no regrets. We are doing amazing and we deserve the credit because it is not easy.Lol hugs back luv <3 and thanks
Christina said…
hey Tina ;@). I just saw that you put up a new post on my Blogger Dashboard. But for some reason I can't go to it. Also, it's under a different link:


I went to your blog but I still didn't see your new post.

;@/ Confused

Christina said…
Never mind I think I get it. Also, I saw that similar like for your other posts. Did you remove the post? So if it's longer there I can't go to it. That makes sense lol. sorry. I was having a moment ;p.

TinaDiva said…
@christina I posted it by accident and saved it as a draft because I wanted to edit on the computer. Initially I did it on my phone and figured once I wake up I would go on my computer to edit it lol.